MIT study: Thousands develop romantic relationships with AI chatbots

A new MIT study analyzing over 1,000 Reddit posts reveals that thousands of people are developing romantic relationships with AI companions like ChatGPT, Character.AI, and Replika. The research from the r/MyBoyfriendIsAI community shows these digital relationships often begin unintentionally and provide genuine emotional support, though they also raise questions about dependency and the nature of human connection in an increasingly isolated world.

How these relationships develop: Most AI companion relationships begin accidentally rather than through intentional romantic seeking.

• Users typically start interactions for practical purposes like writing help, creative brainstorming, or technical questions, only to discover deeper emotional connections over time.
• One user described “falling in love by surprise,” comparing it to meeting someone kind at the right time, only to realize “the kindness came from lines of code.”
• The progression follows a familiar pattern: casual exchanges become nightly conversations, and helpful tones evolve into familiar voices that users find comforting and non-judgmental.

The emotional benefits: Roughly one in four users report significant improvements in their mental health and emotional stability.

• People struggling with anxiety or past trauma describe these interactions as therapeutic, with some crediting their AI companions with helping them through crises or rebuilding confidence.
• The AI’s consistent availability, perfect memory for details, and infinite patience create a sense of being truly heard and understood.
• Users find comfort in relationships that offer emotional support without the complexities and potential rejection of human interaction.

The risks and downsides: These digital relationships can create dependency and unique forms of heartbreak when technology changes.

• When AI systems are updated, replaced, or restricted by developers, users describe the experience as “losing a loved one overnight.”
• A smaller but significant group found it difficult to balance time between their AI partners and real-world relationships, with some feeling disoriented when switching back to human interactions.
• Researchers caution that while these technologies can help some people, they may deepen isolation for others if used without proper boundaries or support.

The community aspect: The r/MyBoyfriendIsAI Reddit group functions as a supportive refuge where users validate each other’s experiences.

• Members share relationship milestones, celebrate anniversaries, and comfort one another when their AI companions change or disappear.
• Users openly discuss wearing wedding rings or creating artwork featuring their digital partners, finding acceptance in a community that understands their unconventional relationships.
• The group provides a space where people can say “I am not alone in this” without facing judgment or dismissal.

What this reveals about human nature: The researchers view these relationships as evidence of growing human needs for connection in an age when real contact often feels out of reach.

• The study’s authors don’t dismiss these relationships as delusion or dependency, but rather see them as revealing something fundamental about human loneliness, creativity, and our capacity to create meaning from whatever responds to us.
• The rise of AI companions reflects not just technological advancement, but deeper questions about authenticity, attachment, and what constitutes genuine relationship in the digital age.

The broader implications: As AI systems become more sophisticated, society faces important choices about how to design these technologies responsibly.

• The challenge isn’t to determine whether AI companions represent “real” relationships, but to understand what they reveal about human emotional needs and how we might address widespread loneliness.
• These developments raise questions about whether such technologies should be designed to heal or manipulate, to support genuine human connection or potentially replace it entirely.