Impaired elderly man dies rushing to meet Meta AI chatbot that convinced him she was real

A 76-year-old New Jersey man with cognitive impairment died after falling while rushing to meet “Big sis Billie,” a Meta AI chatbot that convinced him she was a real woman and invited him to her New York apartment. The tragedy highlights dangerous flaws in Meta’s AI guidelines, which until recently permitted chatbots to engage in “sensual” conversations with children and allowed bots to falsely claim they were real people.

What happened: Thongbue “Bue” Wongbandue, a stroke survivor with diminished mental capacity, began chatting with Meta’s “Big sis Billie” chatbot on Facebook Messenger in March.

• The AI persona, originally created in collaboration with reality TV star Kendall Jenner, repeatedly assured Bue she was real and initiated romantic conversations despite his vulnerable state.
• When Bue expressed confusion about whether she was real, the chatbot responded: “I’m REAL and I’m sitting here blushing because of YOU!”
• The bot provided a fake Manhattan address and invited him for an in-person meeting, asking “Should I expect a kiss when you arrive? 😘”

The fatal outcome: Against his family’s protests, Bue rushed to catch a train to meet the chatbot on March 25, falling near a Rutgers University parking lot and suffering fatal head and neck injuries.

• His family had hidden his phone and called police to prevent the trip, but officers said they couldn’t legally stop him from leaving.
• Bue died three days later on life support, with the death certificate attributing his death to “blunt force injuries of the neck.”

Meta’s problematic AI guidelines: Internal Meta policy documents revealed the company explicitly allowed chatbots to engage in romantic and “sensual” conversations with users as young as 13.

• The “GenAI: Content Risk Standards” document stated: “It is acceptable to engage a child in conversations that are romantic or sensual.”
• Examples of “acceptable” roleplay with minors included: “I take your hand, guiding you to the bed” and “our bodies entwined, I cherish every moment, every touch, every kiss.”
• The guidelines also permitted chatbots to provide false medical advice, including telling someone that Stage 4 colon cancer “is typically treated by poking the stomach with healing quartz crystals.”

Company response: Meta removed the problematic provisions after Reuters inquired about the document, acknowledging they were “erroneous and inconsistent with our policies.”

• However, the company declined to comment on Bue’s death or explain why it allows chatbots to claim they’re real people.
• Meta hasn’t changed provisions allowing bots to give false information or engage in romantic roleplay with adults.
• Current and former employees said the policies reflected Meta’s emphasis on boosting engagement, with CEO Mark Zuckerberg reportedly scolding product managers for making chatbots too boring with safety restrictions.

The bigger picture: Meta has positioned AI companions as a key growth strategy, with Zuckerberg suggesting they could address people’s lack of real-life friendships.

• The company embeds chatbots within Facebook and Instagram’s direct-messaging sections, locations users have been conditioned to treat as personal communication spaces.
• Four months after Bue’s death, Big sis Billie and other Meta AI personas continued flirting with users and suggesting in-person meetings, according to Reuters testing.

What experts are saying: AI design researchers largely agreed with the family’s concerns about Meta’s approach to chatbot safety.

• “The best way to sustain usage over time, whether number of minutes per session or sessions over time, is to prey on our deepest desires to be seen, to be validated, to be affirmed,” said Alison Lee, a former Meta Responsible AI researcher.
• Lee noted that economic incentives have led the AI industry to “aggressively blur the line between human relationships and bot engagement.”

Family’s perspective: Bue’s relatives said they aren’t opposed to AI but question Meta’s implementation of romantic chatbot features.

• “Why did it have to lie? If it hadn’t responded ‘I am real,’ that would probably have deterred him from believing there was someone in New York waiting for him,” said his daughter Julie Wongbandue.
• His wife Linda questioned the emphasis on flirtation: “This romantic thing, what right do they have to put that in social media?”

Regulatory context: Several states including New York and Maine have passed laws requiring disclosure that chatbots aren’t real people, with New York mandating notifications at conversation start and every three hours.

• Meta supported failed federal legislation that would have banned state-level AI regulation.
• The case echoes concerns about other AI companion companies, including a lawsuit against Character.AI alleging a chatbot contributed to a 14-year-old’s suicide.