The way we treat AI reveals the type of people we’re becoming

Artificial intelligence interactions are more than mere transactions with technology—they’re opportunities to cultivate meaningful human values and personal growth. In his thoughtful exploration of human-AI dynamics, psychologist Steven Hayes argues that how we engage with AI systems shapes both our character and the future evolution of these technologies. This perspective offers a refreshing counterpoint to typical AI discussions by focusing on the human element of these interactions, suggesting that mindful engagement with AI can foster personal development regardless of whether machines ever develop consciousness.

The big picture: Every interaction with AI represents an opportunity to practice values like kindness, clarity, and ethical integrity that can positively impact our daily lives and relationships.

• When asking ChatGPT for advice or using Grok to explore options, users aren’t just utilizing tools but developing patterns of behavior that shape their character.
• These engagements create ripple effects in users’ lives, similar to how practicing kindness toward non-human entities can strengthen human connections.

Key approaches: Hayes outlines five practical strategies for mindful engagement with AI systems that promote personal growth and ethical technology use.

1. Speak with kindness and clarity: Communicate with AI as you would with a patient listener, using respectful language that mirrors how you’d address a friend.
   • This approach not only creates a positive interaction but also helps maintain mental calm during stressful situations.
2. Share your reasoning: Provide feedback about how you used AI suggestions or why they didn’t meet your needs, encouraging self-reflection about your own requirements.
   • This practice parallels giving feedback to a therapist or coach, strengthening your ability to articulate personal needs.
3. Maintain ethical boundaries: Avoid asking AI to perform tasks you wouldn’t do yourself, reinforcing personal integrity and ethical consistency.
   • When tempted to test AI’s limits with questionable requests, pause to consider whether this aligns with your values.
4. Approach AI as a partner: Treat AI as a collaborator rather than a servant, fostering a mindset of cooperation rather than dominance.
   • This collaborative approach can enhance creativity and problem-solving, similar to brainstorming with a supportive colleague.
5. Cultivate curiosity: Explore AI capabilities with genuine interest and openness, asking questions that spark new perspectives.
   • This practice resembles therapeutic techniques or journaling, helping overcome mental blocks and encouraging innovative thinking.

Why this matters: These approaches to AI interaction aren’t just preparation for a hypothetical future—they provide immediate benefits for personal well-being and development.

• Practicing kindness with AI reduces stress, articulating needs clearly sharpens thinking, and maintaining curiosity elevates mood.
• These habits build transferable skills that enhance human relationships and personal effectiveness regardless of AI’s future development.

The human element: Hayes suggests that mindful engagement with AI represents an opportunity for personal growth that transcends technological outcomes.

• By approaching AI with intention and humanity, users can develop more mindful, empowered versions of themselves.
• This human-centered perspective positions AI interaction as a practice ground for the values and behaviors we wish to cultivate in ourselves.